I’m one of these people who likes to fantasize about having a productive day of thinking and “figuring things out” and so I hole myself up somewhere for several hours to think and think and think and think.
I do this mostly based on overly-rosy memories of the handful of times when this method actually worked for me. Because sometimes it really does. But it’s not the norm.
What usually happens is I get stuck with something and then schedule off 2 or 3 hours of my day to “solve a problem” or “think.” And then I spend 2 or 3 hours of miserable spinning, procrastination, and snack-getting. It’s as if I get thinking stage fright.
But I keep doing this. Over and over, blocking off time to “think” and getting stuck and doing it again anyway.
I do know that there are many different types of thinkers/problem-solvers. Maybe some people can do the solo-thinking thing and have it work.
And I do think it’s important to regularly give yourself quiet “think time” so as to leave space for surprising connections and “ahas” that you could’ve never predicted.
BUT, when it comes to trying to solve an actual problem, I’m starting to realize that there is no substitute for thinking out loud ... with other trusted humans. In case you’ve never had the pleasure, “thinking out loud” means getting the thoughts out of your head and out into the world. In this case, by talking to people.
Why have I been so resistant to this up until now? I think it’s a lot of things. My dislike for being the rambling messy one. My lifelong struggle with wanting to be the one who “figures things out.” Or perhaps just my distaste for wanting to trouble other people with my problems. Whatever the reason, I know it’s not based on good evidence. Awareness is half the battle, right?
Recently, though, I’ve begun to dip my toe into thinking aloud and sharing the mess in my head with others. Immediately, I noticed that the results were quite different from what I’d been getting before.
Consistent Energy
Often when I’d try to “figure things out” on my own, I’d start out my session with a really high energy level. Then as time ticked on, I’d feel it wane. I’d notice distraction setting in.
There were so many snacks to be had.
Once I let someone else into the conversation, though, I felt energized from start to finish. It was as if there was a train of excitement chugging along, as we listened to each other and asked questions and shared noticings. The time seemed to zoom by. The heightened energy allowed us to get through so much more than I would’ve been able to do alone.
Increased Clarity
Even when I use giant sticky notes or whiteboards or journaling to get my ideas out of my head, it can sometimes feel like my thoughts are spiraling. I catch a whiff of something important and then I can’t quite hang on to it. Maybe I’m too close to the matter at hand to be able to make heads or tails of it. It’s frustrating.
When I think out loud with others, they can point out patterns in my ideas and ask clarifying questions that take me to places I’d never have gone on my own. It’s like the act of speaking it aloud allows for an echo. It makes the ideas more concrete and helps me understand my own thinking better.
Greater Confidence
The longer I work with CEOs, the clearer it is that we can be our worst critics. I’m no exception. Sometimes, when I’m left to my own devices, I can have an amazing idea, but by the time I finish thinking about it, I’ve already talked myself out of it because, “Nah...that’s dumb.” As long as they’re still in my head, my ideas often don’t have enough oomph to get out in the real world.
But when I speak my thoughts out loud and together we work through them and come up with a plan, all of a sudden, it feels real! We can actually do this thing! And that collective confidence in my ideas (and commitment to them) gives me the push I need to actually take action. (Which is the whole point of thinking about problems and opportunities in the first place, isn’t it?)
More Ideas (Probably Better Ones Too!)
Alone, I can only work with my own perspective, my own experiences, and my own way of thinking about things. It’s fine, but I’m leaving a lot of possibilities on the table.
When I present a question or share my thinking with others, I’m always astounded by the things they can see that I would never have seen in a million years. No matter how much I think I know about something, they can always point out a blindspot. Turns out I’m not so smart that I can figure out everything on my own.
A Connected & Motivated Team
When hide in my office and try to think myself out of a problem, there’s a certain kind of satisfaction I can get. It feels good to think my way out of a pickle and I enjoy coming back to my team with a clear solution for how to move forward. But the only one benefitting from this process is me.
The problem with only doing it that way is I’m leaving so much potential on the table when it comes to my team. If I’m always the figurer-outer, what motivation does my team have to become better problem-solvers and to think of new ways of doing things in the areas they’re responsible for? Don’t they just end up feeling like hired hands who don’t get to dig into anything juicy and important? And how on EARTH do I ever expect to be able to truly free myself from of the day-to-day aspects of running my business if I’m the only one with the answers?
Honestly, this is one of the most exciting and rewarding parts of what I’ve discovered. By inviting my team to help me solve the big problems in my business, I feel like we’ve become a more connected team. We’re all better-aligned to where we’re going as a business. I can also see more and more problems getting solved that we hadn’t even acknowledged as problems before. It’s making us ALL better thinkers and better doers. Together.
It’s All About Balance
There will always be a place for deep thinking and solitude for CEOs and we all need to make space for it in our busy schedules. But it needs to be balanced with a healthy dose of sharing the mess that’s in your head with your trusted team members.
It’s funny how something that’s so core to the work we do for our clients somehow escaped me in my thinking about our own work. But I’m glad I’ve finally seen the light. As it turns out, when you get the mess out of your head and share it with others, you can make more progress faster. Simply by speaking it aloud, it all comes into focus.