Getting a helpful push conserves energy. It’s science.
We “achievers” are so hard on ourselves. We know in our gut how things “should be” and we do our best to make sure things get done that way.
Plan your week.
Get up at 5am.
Work out.
Meditate.
Check in with your team.
Spend time marketing.
Write your blog post.
Plan your quarterly goals.
Eat healthy.
Don’t watch too much TV.
Call your parents.
Play with your kids.
I could go on forever. And these are all things I actually want to do. They enrich my life. But, to be honest, keeping up with my “list” can be exhausting.
It’s not actually doing the things that’s exhausting, though. It’s the terrible strategy I’ve used to stay on top of everything I need to do: pushing.
I know some very disciplined people. They seem magical to me. They do the things they set out to do day after day, seemingly without struggle.
And so I pushed myself. "I should be more disciplined," I thought, as I tried to adopt good new habits. Over and over, I inevitably failed.
It felt terrible.
I want to have these healthy habits in my life because I want the results they bring. But the main side-effect of pushing myself is that I feel like crap when I can’t make the change last. So what’s an achiever-CEO to do?
It might not work for every person and every habit, but the one that works for me more often than not is “outsourcing the push”. Setting up (sometimes elaborate) systems for being pushed by others.
Here are some of mine:
My neighbor shows up in my garage every morning at 6:45 to work out, whether I feel like it or not.
My team has a daily 10-minute “check in” meeting every morning where we each share our “most important thing” for the day and so we don’t get lost in the weeds.
We also have a scheduled Friday morning Zoom call during which we all work together in silence and they will NOT let me not write a blog post.
I have instituted “quarterly planning parties” with a few friends where we get together and reflect on our last three months and get our plans organized for the next three. (I know, nerd-alert.)
I told my kids that they each get 15 minutes of “special time” every night to connect. (And they don’t let me get out of it.)
I no longer have to think about any of these things because my tribe gives me the push I need. I've confessed that I will slack off, given the opportunity, and that I need their help to stay on track. And so they do. (And as a bonus, sharing my struggles with others and asking them for help has forged stronger connections with my friends and colleagues because they can clearly see I’m not perfect either!)
I'm not a failure because I need this kind of support to get things done.
I'm not somehow weak because I can’t do it on my own.
I know how to get things done...my way.