The High Price of Not Changing

Me, clinging for dear life to my perfectly fine branch instead of moving to a better one.

Everything is always changing. Yet, our silly human minds often try so hard to hold on to what feels comfortable today. 

Things are fine, thankyouverymuch. And maybe they are. 

Until they’re not. 

It’s only then that we make a change.

I’d known for months that the way I was running my business wasn’t quite working. But it was mostly working, and so I carried on.

I love to jump in and help my clients implement when the thing to be done is so clear and obvious to me. And so I do. “This will only take me ten minutes to do for them,” I’d tell myself. But those ten-minute tasks add up quickly. And little by little, my to-do list was getting longer and my deadlines were slipping. I really hate that.

And I felt terrible: Terrible about letting my clients down. Terrible that I wasn’t keeping my word. 

But somehow, feeling terrible wasn’t enough to push me to change. I just accepted the feeling as part of the job and kept pushing. This was normal, right? Usually, I’d get the most important things done before my clients needed them. I was surviving day by day. But it’s like living paycheck to paycheck. You never quite feel settled because you know you’re only one catastrophe away from a real crisis. 

Want to know how I finally changed? 

I ran the numbers. 

It was simple: If I didn’t spend more time marketing and selling, my business wasn’t going to grow. It might stay the same. It could stagnate and die. And I literally had ZERO time to work on marketing and sales. So all of my feeling terrible about missing deadlines and not being able to keep up wasn’t even moving the needle. I was going to burn out and have nothing to show for it. That woke me right up.

Once I had clarity about what my inaction was costing me, I knew what I needed to do. And I had the motivation to do it. To change. 

That’s not to say that the steps I needed to take were easy - they weren’t. But the choice was clear. Either I could choose to fundamentally (and uncomfortably) shift the way I operated my business. Or I could risk everything. It’s an easy choice to make, when you put it like that. 

Are you tolerating a status quo in your business that isn’t working for you anymore? 

Have you been hard on yourself for all the ways you’re falling short? 

It may just be that you need to zoom out to get clarity on what inaction is costing you. And sometimes that can be hard to see on your own. 

So ask for help. 

Get clear on the shift you want to make and how your current “way” that’s holding you back. Lean into the discomfort...it’s where all the good stuff happens.

And don’t forget to be kind to yourself along the way. Sometimes we’re just not ready to change. 

Until we are.

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The Process Mavens helps business owners like you to identify and implement the shifts they need to make in their business to scale to the next level. We’d love to help you take a look and see what’s holding you back so you can grow.

You've Got Business Problems. Who Should You Pick to Solve Them?

This guy’s clearly the winning choice to solve this problem!

I love the culture-building side of leading a team. I love the team work and the camaraderie and knowing that I’m creating jobs for people where they get to do the kind of work they love to do every day. 

In short, I love people.

And also? The whole reason I have people on my team in the first place is to solve specific problems I have in my business. As much as I love working with them, they simply wouldn’t be here if I didn’t have problems I needed them to solve. 

That’s why when it comes to hiring, coaching, managing and...frankly...firing, you need to be crystal-clear about what problems each position is accountable for solving and what specific talents and skills a person in that position needs to possess in order to do those things. This clarity will help you to get the most out of your team while also setting them up to thrive.

In Geoff Smart and Randy Street’s book, “Who: The A Method for Hiring,” they say, “There is a tendency to gravitate to the best all-around athlete; you know - tremendous skill set, resume that is knock-your-socks off.” And they’re right. It’s so much easier to hire someone who can do a lot of things pretty well and just load them up with a variety of responsibilities. This is especially true when your team is small and team members need to fill multiple positions to get all the work done.

But as you grow your team, you’ll get better results when each person is more specialized in the problems they solve. 

Let’s say I need to solve the “problem” of client retention. I post for the position and encounter someone who seems awesome. It’s clear to me through the hiring process that they’re a good fit for the company culture, they've successfully led teams and projects to impressive outcomes, and have demonstrated the ability to perform the main functions of the position. They even attended an elite university. Wow! What an opportunity to hire a rockstar employee, right? 

After I hire this person, however, although they are a great fit for our team and culture, I begin to realize there are some issues. They seem to be getting bored with the repetitive nature of their role and they just aren’t giving clients that extra-special TLC I was hoping for. It’s not that they’re doing a bad job, but the problem still feels a bit...problemy.

What happened? They’re an A-Player, aren’t they?

Well, they might be...for a different position. (And if you can afford it, you might still want to hire them because A-Players are hard to find!) But we needed to solve the client retention problem with this hire. And they’re just not thriving in that position. I want to identify someone who is uniquely talented in solving that problem and that problem alone. Probably someone who…

• Is process-oriented.

• Follows through consistently, even if things sometimes get repetitive.

• Is fulfilled by serving and helping people and determined to make their experiences better

• Stays calm and kind under pressure 

If I find someone exactly like this to fill the role, they’re going to excel at solving my client retention problem, even though they might not be the best at leading others or project management. (And they’ll LOVE doing it! Win-Win!)

Sure, an “all-around athlete” can probably do a decent job at whatever you throw at them but you’re leaving a ton of potential on the table when you assign responsibilities this way.

Matching your employees' unique talents to the problems you solve and taking the things that don't align off their plate...that's a gift. It gives them their dream job.

Outsourcing the Push

Getting a helpful push conserves energy. It’s science.

We “achievers” are so hard on ourselves. We know in our gut how things “should be” and we do our best to make sure things get done that way. 

Plan your week.

Get up at 5am.

Work out.

Meditate.

Check in with your team.

Spend time marketing.

Write your blog post.

Plan your quarterly goals.

Eat healthy.

Don’t watch too much TV. 

Call your parents.

Play with your kids.

I could go on forever. And these are all things I actually want to do. They enrich my life. But, to be honest, keeping up with my “list” can be exhausting. 

It’s not actually doing the things that’s exhausting, though. It’s the terrible strategy I’ve used to stay on top of everything I need to do: pushing.

I know some very disciplined people. They seem magical to me. They do the things they set out to do day after day, seemingly without struggle. 

And so I pushed myself. "I should be more disciplined," I thought, as I tried to adopt good new habits. Over and over, I inevitably failed.

It felt terrible.

I want to have these healthy habits in my life because I want the results they bring. But the main side-effect of pushing myself is that I feel like crap when I can’t make the change last. So what’s an achiever-CEO to do? 

It might not work for every person and every habit, but the one that works for me more often than not is “outsourcing the push”. Setting up (sometimes elaborate) systems for being pushed by others. 

Here are some of mine:

• My neighbor shows up in my garage every morning at 6:45 to work out, whether I feel like it or not.

• My team has a daily 10-minute “check in” meeting every morning where we each share our “most important thing” for the day and so we don’t get lost in the weeds. 

• We also have a scheduled Friday morning Zoom call during which we all work together in silence and they will NOT let me not write a blog post.

• I have instituted “quarterly planning parties” with a few friends where we get together and reflect on our last three months and get our plans organized for the next three. (I know, nerd-alert.)

• I told my kids that they each  get 15 minutes of “special time” every night to connect. (And they don’t let me get out of it.)

I no longer have to think about any of these things because my tribe gives me the push I need. I've confessed that I will slack off, given the opportunity, and that I need their help to stay on track. And so they do. (And as a bonus, sharing my struggles with others and asking them for help has forged stronger connections with my friends and colleagues because they can clearly see I’m not perfect either!)

I'm not a failure because I need this kind of support to get things done.

I'm not somehow weak because I can’t do it on my own.

I know how to get things done...my way.

The Fixing Tendency

How we feel when we’re the ones who can solve all the things.

As leaders, we’ve been sold a bill of goods. 

That we must drive.

Must buffer.

Must mediate.

Must fix.

We’ve internalized the image of the virtuous, all-knowing leader who swoops in and makes everything ok. I see it in parenting too, but that’s another story for another day. 

Is it working for you?

Sure, you get an ego-hit when you can actually solve a problem for your team…and that does feel good for the moment. (Like candy.) And you get the peace of mind that comes with knowing things are being done your way. (The right way, obvi.) But is it worth it? Is your team getting a chance to solve problems, make mistakes and learn from them? Is your business getting more resilient? 

I guess it depends on what you’re building. 

If you fancy yourself a freelancer,  where you’re the one calling all the shots and doing most of the work, it’s fine to be the fixer. It can be fun to run a business like that.

Is that what you want to do right now? If it is…enjoy!

But if you want to build a business, which can serve your clients for many years to come and be sustainable with or without you, clinging to the “fixer” identity is a liability.

So, what to do?! 

Know what’s funny? You can’t fix your “fixing tendency.” (Believe me, I’ve tried.)

The only thing that will create a lasting shift is becoming aware of two things:

1. What it’s like to fix. How does it feel right before you “spring into action?” How do your team respond to you? What does it feel like for you in the moment?

2. The effects of your fixing. After you’ve fixed the thing, how do you feel? How does it make your team feel? (Ask them!) What did they learn from it? What will happen next time?

Until you’re fully aware of your tendency to fix things, you can try with all your might to change it, but it will always feel like you’re fighting against the current. 

So for once, don’t try to fix this. You’re doing the best you can right now, and that’s enough. The only thing to do is start paying attention. Once you do that a while, you’ll know what to do next.

Do Your A-Players Get The Sunday Scaries?

Monday morning lurks in the darkness…waiting…

I recently learned the term “Sunday Scaries” from a group of friends. They’re the creeping anxiety so many employees get as Monday morning inches closer. The same anxiety I remember feeling in many of my former jobs. And my friends have ‘em.

I’m grateful that Sunday Scaries are just a memory for me, but I know they’re a reality for many people. The fixer in me wants to give every one of them a hug and help them find them a new job, but since that’s not quite realistic, I thought I’d take a moment to address the CEOs in the building because YOU HAVE THESE AMAZING, HARD-WORKING, ROCKSTAR EMPLOYEES AND YOU GUYS, THEY HATE SUNDAYS AND IT’S NOT OK!!!

So this one’s for the big-hearted, well-intentioned CEOs who have freaking fantastic employees who just might be slowly burning out and not even know it. Here’s what I’ve learned about Sunday Scaries…

It’s Possible to Love Your Job and Still Have The Sunday Scaries

My friends taught me this one. My gut reaction, when I heard that my friends were regularly experiencing this phenomenon, was to assume they disliked their jobs and needed to get out. This may be true in some cases, but to my astonishment, my friends said they actually LOVED their jobs! 

So what’s going on there?

Well, from what I can tell, they’re stressed by their jobs, but they have bosses they like and respect, who have good intentions and treat them with kindness. They work for companies where the work they do matters and where their contributions make a big difference to the team. AND they’re hard-working employees who get a lot of satisfaction from doing the work and doing it well.

My hunch is that all of these “pros” make the Sunday Scaries an acceptable tradeoff. For now. 

CEO Action Step: You may be a great leader and truly care about your employees. If you’re reading this, I’m betting on it. You probably do a wonderful job of serving your clients well and your team feels like they’re making a difference. This is all very very important.

Also? You need to make sure your rockstar employees are ok. 

Many A-Players value being “easy going” or “low maintenance,” so you may not get the full story on the first go-around. Take them to lunch and get specific. Ask them if they feel a bit anxious on Sunday nights. Assure them that you know it’s not a sign that they don’t like their job or are unhappy. 

If they do, ask them how they cope and what problems it’s causing. Don’t try to fix the problem, just LISTEN. Be curious. The whole goal of the conversation should be to understand, not to fix. The truth is, they may not even know what needs fixing because...

Our Coping Strategies Stop Us from Understanding the Root Causes of Our Scaries

I don’t think that Sunday Scaries are always a sign that there’s something wrong with the job or the company. But I AM sure that they’re a way for our bodies to tell us that something is off. So many of us spend the majority of our lives in our heads, completely ignoring the messages from our bodies. Just like a fever indicates that our body is under attack and we need to rest, that creeping anxiety on Sunday evenings is our body trying to tell us something. But how often do we stop and really listen? 

When we feel that familiar sense of dread, we often jump straight to coping strategies to get through, like...

• Running through a laundry list in our heads of what needs to get done and so ...

• Getting snippy with the kids and/or our partner until we turn to...

• Polishing off that bottle of wine or carton of ice cream, while we’re ...

• Binging on Netflix to numb the pain until we finally pass out at 1am, which doesn’t stop us from...

• Tossing and turning all night as we imagine the worst case scenario for everything that’s going to happen this week.

These are all patterns of behavior that we may have adopted over time to deal with icky feelings, but none of them actually resolve the core issues that are causing those feelings in the first place. They will also have a severe impact on your employees’ health, happiness, and relationships, both in and out of the workplace.

CEO Action Step: Nope. Still not time to start fixing. Once you’re aware that your rockstar employee is experiencing the Sunday Scaries, it’s time to dig into identifying the problem(s). 

Ask your employee if they notice any patterns about what causes them to feel the most stressed or anxious about work. They may need some time to reflect before they can pinpoint it, so don’t rush to identify the problem(s). (Seriously, don’t rush. We CEOs really hate the part where we aren’t actively solving, don’t we?)

When you spend more time digging into the problem, you might discover…

• They’re bad at setting boundaries and feel like they’re a bad employee if they say no.

• They repeatedly set unrealistic timelines and overestimate what they can handle.

• You’ve put too many responsibilities on their plate for any one human to handle.

• There’s a difficult coworker who’s making their life hell.

• They’re lacking in some critical skills they need to perform their job.

• There are inefficiencies in the way your team is working.

The list goes on and on, but you won’t know the right action to take until you can first uncover what’s going on. Sometimes, you may find a problem that requires some outside help. Whatever it is, and however you and your employee decide to go about addressing it, be sure to let them know they have your support, because…

You Can’t Afford to Let Your Most Dedicated, Talented Employees Burn Out

I’ve worked with enough CEOs to know that the cost of replacing a rockstar employee is high. It can have ripple effects that last for months, both in terms of team morale and productivity.  

Often, you can get by for a long time by providing good leadership and a caring work culture - even if your A-Players are stressin’. But at some point, they will burn out. Whether it’s a literal, physical burn-out or the realization that they can find a less overwhelming job elsewhere, it’s not a risk you want to take.

Because, most importantly, you’re the kind of CEO who actually does care about the wonderful humans that call your business home.

CEO Action Step: Ask yourself, “Am I 100% sure that my A-Players are handling the stresses of the job?” If the answer is no, it’s time to take action and start asking the hard questions. 

Some employees will thrive on high pressure, but many people don’t, and knowing who does and who doesn’t is information that will ultimately help you mitigate risks to your company. Your people are your greatest business asset and it’s up to you to make sure they have what they need to be successful. Let’s get rid of the Sunday Scaries, one business at a time.

3 Questions to Resolve Office Drama for Good

How it feels when the drama is in full force.

This week, one of my clients let me know that he was struggling to bring two of his team leads together. These are valuable team members with the best of intentions, but they had put up their walls and stopped communicating with one another. My client was at a loss. He had tried to mediate and “fix” the situation for the umpteenth time. 

How can your business thrive if your team can’t work together to solve your most important problems?

When there's a conflict in your team (especially among your team leads), it can feel as if every day is a constant struggle. As the CEO, you need to be thinking about the strategic opportunities and challenges in the business, but you keep getting pulled into the drama.

But the answer isn't to throw your hands up and give up. Maybe you'll have to let one or more of your employees go. But before you do, you need to ask yourself a few questions:

Q1. Have you communicated clear expectations for how they should notice and name unacceptable behavior, have hard conversations, and resolve conflict?

Chances are, as a CEO, you have a strong point of view about how your team should lead others and handle difficult situations. But you may not have clearly defined and communicated this “way” of leading to your team. They can’t read your mind. And they may not have had the life experiences that have equipped them to lead the way you want them to. So they just do the best they can. 

For example, an expectation you might have for your team is, “If your message might be misinterpreted, it needs to be delivered face-to-face (Or at least by phone).” 

Here’s another: “If you notice someone is acting out of alignment with our core values, address it with them as soon as possible with kindness and curiosity.” 

The bottom line? If you can’t tell me exactly how your team should handle hard conversations and how you have communicated that message to them, then you can’t expect them to read your mind.

Q2. Have you provided them with training and practice on how to notice & name unacceptable behavior, have hard conversations, and resolve conflict?

Ok, so let’s give you the benefit of the doubt. Let's assume you have communicated your expectations for how to deal with the hard stuff. Unfortunately, it’s still not enough.

We all come with extra-special baggage from our families of origin and have deeply-ingrained patterns of responding to fear and conflict. Most of us didn’t have perfect parents who taught us healthy ways to work through situations like this. 

That’s why you have to provide more than just expectations. You have to make sure they can actually do it. This means providing a safe space to learn and practice specific techniques for having hard conversations and giving feedback. 

You may not be equipped to provide this kind of learning experience, and if you’re not, there are many organizations and consultants who can help. It’s an investment you won’t regret.

Q3. Are you holding them accountable for noticing & naming unacceptable behavior, having hard conversations, and resolving conflict? (Rather than swooping in as the “fixer”?) 

Alright, you’ve communicated your expectations and you're sure they have the skills to really deliver., So you’re done, right? Sorry, nope.

The last step might just be the hardest for many of us. You, the CEO, have to consistently hold your leaders accountable for following through on all the skills they’ve learned. When they slip back into old habits of handling conflict, you have to name that behavior and remind them of everything they now know. 

Most importantly, it means you need to fight the urge to slip back into your old habits. You're not there to fix things. Support them as they resolve the situation. Let them know that you believe in them and cheer them on when they take steps that you know are painful for them. That’s your job as a leader - to empower them to lead. To help them outgrow you. 

Rewrite the Story, Don’t Join the Drama

If you’ve got drama on your team, stop and take stock of whether you’ve done these three key steps before you place the blame on the employee. Once you honestly have, if someone still can’t seem to move past conflict, you can choose to part ways knowing you’ve done everything you could to support their growth. 

Until then, the blame for the drama in your business lies squarely on your shoulders.

How (NOT) to Write the Perfect Blog Post

This is how I definitely do not look when typing my blog posts.

Crap. This blog post needs to be perfect. And I only have 1 hour to write it.

Mind you, I haven’t worked out exactly what “perfect” looks like, but I’m pretty sure I’ll know it when I see it. Right?

I just want everyone to know how smart I am. I know what I’m talking about. I think. And I’m sure this perfect post will help them see that.

But first, my plant needs watering.

Ok, I’m back. 40 minutes to write my perfect blog post. What should I write about? 

Hmm ... leadership? Process management? How to run a meeting? Perfectionism? Ugh, I’m not really in the mood to write about any of those things. 

Why are all my ideas terrible?!

Gah. Ok, I’ll do the one about perfectionism. Deep breath. Here I go.

But wait. What do I even want to say here? What’s my brilliant insight about being a perfectionist? Does anyone even care about this? Maybe this whole blog is pointless and worthless and I’m just kidding myself that I have anything to offer. 

But I promised the team I’d write a damned blog post today! I need to write a blog post. 

Perfectionism. Go.

All my fellow recovering perfectionists out there know what it feels like when you get that juicy project dropped on your desk. It’s a sticky, messy problem and you know EXACTLY how to fix it. Well...maybe not exactly, but you know you’ll be able to figure it out. You can’t WAIT to work on it. And you will. As soon as you have a nice big chunk of time to work on it. 

Ok, that wasn’t so bad. I’m thirsty … BRB.

Alright. 20 minutes to go. Where was I? 

Ugh...I hate writing. Not quite true. When the spirit moves me ...

But somehow, that chunk of time never arrives. Day after day, you fantasize about the future you who’s going to do such an amazing job at this project and day after day, you never quite find the time. The calendar days tick by and what was once an exciting challenge slowly begins to feel like a burden that may, once and for all, expose you for the charlatan that you actually are. 

“Charlatan?” What kind of cheesy cheese is that? And now I’m past the part where I frame the problem and I need to provide actual thoughts and ideas and I DON’T WANNNNAAAAAAAAAA.

That picture looks crooked. 

OK, I’m back. Ten minutes left. When I got up to fix the picture, I noticed the walls looked a bit dusty, so I grabbed my Swiffer and just did a quick dusting. My wall looks so much better. It would be so awesome to clean houses for a living instead of doing THIS. Being able to see the results of my efforts nearly instantly. Knowing I’ve transformed someone’s space through my own two hands. Sigh. Also, I wouldn’t have to write blog posts anymore. 

Oh no. I only have 5 minutes! This is going to be a short blog post. GO! GO! GO!!!!!

Here’s what you do to battle perfectionism when you have a big, messy task or project:

1. Tell a friend (with a reputation for being tough) exactly what you need to do and by when and ask them to hold you accountable.

2. Write down EXACTLY what “good enough” looks like for the project. How will you know when it’s done? 

3. Schedule at least an hour on your calendar at least once a week to work on the problem. For better results, start a Zoom meeting with your mean friend and work on it quietly while they work on their own projects … it’s amazing how motivating it is to have another person in the room.

4. Share an ugly, raw version of your work earlier than you want to and get feedback. You will learn so much from what others can see.

5. If writing is involved, just write without editing as you go. Let the terrible words flow from your fingers for at least 25 minutes before allowing yourself to edit. Just. Keep. Typing.

These are habits. Hacks. But they’re practices that you can use to battle your natural tendencies that are no longer working for you. 

Here’s what matters most - You are NOT a procrastinator. You are NOT a perfectionist. You have a pattern of procrastinating and wanting things to be perfect. And patterns can be broken. 

Phew. Not perfect. But done. And that sure does feel good.

A Simple Hack for Quickly Creating Your New Hire Training

We moved into a new home not too long ago. On a walk around the neighborhood, I realized that my 8-year-old son didn’t understand where we lived. We were walking on a street we had been on just 15 minutes before and he confidently started galloping in the wrong direction. “It’s this way, Mommy!” So my sweet, stubborn child and I started to have a completely ridiculous conversation about where we lived. 

I needed to do something.

So I decided that every day, on the drive home from school, I’d have him navigate us home. First, though, I needed to show him how to do it. I walked him through every turn, pointing out the landmarks along the way. He seemed like he 100% got it. He’s a very smart kid. I figured he’d nail it on the first try.

He did not.

The first time he navigated, it took him about 15 extra turns to get us home. That doesn’t sound like much, but believe me … when you keep showing up 1 turn away from your street and having to turn in the opposite direction, it gets a bit maddening. 

It stayed maddening for a while. Slowly, he figured it out. But it took him an astonishing number of tries before he could get us home reliably with the minimum number of turns. If I’d just shown him the route a couple of times, supervised him once, then left him to get home on his own, I might never have seen him again!

So what does this have to do with your new hire training?

This is how so many of us train our employees. We list a bunch of “topics” and “tasks” we need to “train them on.” We show or usually tell them how to do them. We may do them with them once or twice. Then we leave them to their own devices.

But are they doing the tasks the way you want them done? Are they doing them in a way that represents your company and culture? (Do you even know what that is in the first place?!)

You guys. We focus our time and energy on the training content. We forget to think about how we’ll know when an employee knows how to do the task. We need to have some way of making sure that your trainees have learned what matters most.

That’s right - you need to think about  assessing learning before you start  delivering training. But how?

Maybe you’re just starting to create training plans for your business. Maybe you just don’t have the time to write a bunch of training guides right now. If so:

1. Decide what success looks like for your new-hire once they’re fully-trained - in detail.

2. Decide what specific skills they’ll need to demonstrate - and how many times you want them to demonstrate each correctly. That way, you can be confident that they will be successful when they use these skills for real.

3. Write the skills they need to demonstrate on a checklist.

4. Decide who is allowed to coach and “sign off” on each skill. Write their name at the top of the checklist so the new hire knows who to go to for help.

5. Hand it to your new employee on day 1, giving them the responsibility of getting everything checked off the list.

And voila! You don’t just have a checklist. You have a plan, which means that your new hire can take ownership of their own training. They know from day 1 what success looks like and what it will mean when they’ve been fully “trained”. 

Of course, eventually, you’ll want to write down how to do everything. That way, you and your team won’t have to keep saying the same things over and over every time you train someone new. But you’d be amazed how far a simple checklist of assessments can streamline your process for training new employees - especially when you don’t have time to write a bunch of content. AND, since you only need to train on the things you’re assessing, you’ll already have a great outline for the training content you do need to create.

Don’t overthink it. Just create that checklist and go!

Getting Out of My Head

I’m one of these people who likes to fantasize about having a productive day of thinking and “figuring things out” and so I hole myself up somewhere for several hours to think and think and think and think.

I do this mostly based on overly-rosy memories of the handful of times when this method actually worked for me. Because sometimes it really does. But it’s not the norm.

What usually happens is I get stuck with something and then schedule off 2 or 3 hours of my day to “solve a problem” or “think.” And then I spend 2 or 3 hours of miserable spinning, procrastination, and snack-getting. It’s as if I get thinking stage fright. 

But I keep doing this. Over and over, blocking off time to “think” and getting stuck and doing it again anyway.

I do know that there are many different types of thinkers/problem-solvers. Maybe some people can do the solo-thinking thing and have it work.

And I do think it’s important to regularly give yourself quiet “think time” so as to leave space for surprising connections and “ahas” that you could’ve never predicted. 

BUT, when it comes to trying to solve an actual problem, I’m starting to realize that there is no substitute for thinking out loud ... with other trusted humans. In case you’ve never had the pleasure, “thinking out loud” means getting the thoughts out of your head and out into the world. In this case, by talking to people.

Why have I been so resistant to this up until now? I think it’s a lot of things. My dislike for being the rambling messy one. My lifelong struggle with wanting to be the one who “figures things out.” Or perhaps just my distaste for wanting to trouble other people with my problems. Whatever the reason, I know it’s not based on good evidence. Awareness is half the battle, right?

Recently, though, I’ve begun to dip my toe into thinking aloud and sharing the mess in my head with others. Immediately, I noticed that the results were quite different from what I’d been getting before.

Consistent Energy

Often when I’d try to “figure things out” on my own, I’d start out my session with a really high energy level. Then as time ticked on, I’d feel it wane. I’d notice distraction setting in. 

There were so many snacks to be had.

Once I let someone else into the conversation, though, I felt energized from start to finish. It was as if there was a train of excitement chugging along, as we listened to each other and asked questions and shared noticings. The time seemed to zoom by. The heightened energy allowed us to get through so much more than I would’ve been able to do alone.

Increased Clarity

Even when I use giant sticky notes or whiteboards or journaling to get my ideas out of my head, it can sometimes feel like my thoughts are spiraling. I catch a whiff of something important and then I can’t quite hang on to it. Maybe I’m too close to the matter at hand to be able to make heads or tails of it. It’s frustrating.

When I think out loud with others, they can point out patterns in my ideas and ask clarifying questions that take me to places I’d never have gone on my own. It’s like the act of speaking it aloud allows for an echo. It makes the ideas more concrete and helps me understand my own thinking better. 

Greater Confidence

The longer I work with CEOs, the clearer it is that we can be our worst critics. I’m no exception. Sometimes, when I’m left to my own devices, I can have an amazing idea, but by the time I finish thinking about it, I’ve already talked myself out of it because, “Nah...that’s dumb.” As long as they’re still in my head, my ideas often don’t have enough oomph to get out in the real world.

But when I speak my thoughts out loud and together we work through them and come up with a plan, all of a sudden, it feels real! We can actually do this thing! And that collective confidence in my ideas (and commitment to them) gives me the push I need to actually take action. (Which is the whole point of thinking about problems and opportunities in the first place, isn’t it?)

More Ideas (Probably Better Ones Too!)

Alone, I can only work with my own perspective, my own experiences, and my own way of thinking about things. It’s fine, but I’m leaving a lot of possibilities on the table. 

When I present a question or share my thinking with others, I’m always astounded by the things they can see that I would never have seen in a million years. No matter how much I think I know about something, they can always point out a blindspot. Turns out I’m not so smart that I can figure out everything on my own. 

A Connected & Motivated Team

When hide in my office and try to think myself out of a problem, there’s a certain kind of satisfaction I can get. It feels good to think my way out of a pickle and I enjoy coming back to my team with a clear solution for how to move forward. But the only one benefitting from this process is me.

The problem with only doing it that way is I’m leaving so much potential on the table when it comes to my team. If I’m always the figurer-outer, what motivation does my team have to become better problem-solvers and to think of new ways of doing things in the areas they’re responsible for? Don’t they just end up feeling like hired hands who don’t get to dig into anything juicy and important? And how on EARTH do I ever expect to be able to truly free myself from of the day-to-day aspects of running my business if I’m the only one with the answers? 

Honestly, this is one of the most exciting and rewarding parts of what I’ve discovered. By inviting my team to help me solve the big problems in my business, I feel like we’ve become a more connected team. We’re all better-aligned to where we’re going as a business. I can also see more and more problems getting solved that we hadn’t even acknowledged as problems before. It’s making us ALL better thinkers and better doers. Together.

It’s All About Balance

There will always be a place for deep thinking and solitude for CEOs and we all need to make space for it in our busy schedules. But it needs to be balanced with a healthy dose of sharing the mess that’s in your head with your trusted team members. 

It’s funny how something that’s so core to the work we do for our clients somehow escaped me in my thinking about our own work. But I’m glad I’ve finally seen the light. As it turns out, when you get the mess out of your head and share it with others, you can make more progress faster. Simply by speaking it aloud, it all comes into focus. 

Does Your New Hire Orientation Reflect Your Core Values?

Chances are you’ve survived some kind of “employee orientation” or onboarding program over the course of your career. My first such experience was my first job as an “associate” at Sears. I still remember sitting in the employee training room for several days watching dry videos and synchronously flipping through a binder-full of information about policies and customer service expectations. It felt like just another boring day school, except without any friends...and while wearing pantyhose.

Given how well-organized it was, I have no doubt some wise instructional designer thoughtfully crafted that mind-numbing training based on carefully-chosen course objectives. Objectives are statements that identify what you want your learner to be able to do after they've completed your training. They’re usually stated like this…

By the end of the training, learners should be able to…

• Clock in and out

• Greet a customer

• Ring up a customer

• Get a customer to open up a Sears card

That kind of thing. 

We acquired many skills by the end of our 3-day experience, and I was definitely prepared to survive my first day. I guess that could be good enough for some businesses. 

Too bad I also had no idea who my manager was, who I would be working with, which department I’d been assigned to, or what kind of culture I was joining. I felt bored and isolated.

But super ready to clock in.

A Different Kind of Objective

Earlier this week, I was working with a client to help him build an improved employee orientation for his remote employees. My client is a caring leader with a committed and passionate administrative team who would do anything for him and each other because of the culture he’s built. They want their large remote staff to have the same level of care and dedication as the core team, but it’s been a challenge to make it a reality. 

We had a great planning session and ended up with two overarching objectives for the training:

By the end of the training, learners should be able to...

1. Demonstrate that they’re a good culture and personality fit for the role

2. Perform all of the basic tasks of the job (and we listed them out)

But it just didn’t seem right. It was missing something.

I probed a bit more to find out what were the biggest management problems they had with employees in this particular role. It turned out that most of the complaints they receive have to do with the remote employees not connecting with their clients. Sure, they do their job, but they’re missing heart. And so was this orientation.

So I asked them, “What do you want your new employees to feel as a result of this training?” 

They were silent for a few seconds, but as we talked a bit more it became clear that they wanted their new employees to feel confident and supported.

Equipped with our third objective, we now had a whole different flavor for the kind of orientation course we would build. Since the most important rule for designing training is to start with a clear end point and then build assessments, lessons, and activities to guide learners to that promised land, we did just that. Working backwards from our three objectives, we outlined what we needed to include in the training to make them a reality. 

Here are just a few of the ways we did that…

• We decided we could build confidence by providing face-to-face opportunities to practice and role-play the real-life interactions they would have with clients. Their expert team members could model how to deliver their service with heart and connection and new-hires would have chances to mess up, get feedback, and ask questions in a safe space instead of trying their new skills out for the first time with a real client.

• We also incorporated some video observations of experienced, highly-connecting employees performing their duties so new-hires could see how it really happens on the job. After all, so much of feeling confident is knowing what to expect.

• When it came to feeling supported, we included opportunities for the new employees to connect with one another like icebreakers, group activities, and discussions. We looked for ways for them to mix with their main contacts in the administrative office so they weren’t just faceless names on a contact list. Rather, they were real humans with whom they’d had a conversation and who cared about their success. We even added post-orientation check-ins with their manager so they knew they’d have someone looking out for them.

What previously could have been a boring training that only focused on the technical aspects of the job is shaping up to be a beautiful first impression of the company for the new employees. The people on the team already believe in the power that relationships have to create happiness and success and they show that in the way they show up at work every day. Now this orientation will also be a reflection of those values. 

In Summary…

Yes, define your objectives before you plan your training. What do you want your learner to be able to do when they’re done?

But then ask one more question - What do you want them to feel when they’re done? Look over your core values and ask yourself whether your orientation reflect what you say you want your culture to be. 

You only get one chance to make a first impression.

What does your orientation about your culture and values?